Faith
by Meye
Summary: Bonnie reflects on her life; from her friendship with Elena, her association with the Salvatore brothers, her family, her friends, to the Mikealson family and how she will carry on... Bonnie's POV


_**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations from The Vampire Diaries series created/owned by L. J. Smith and developed by Kevin Williamson/CW Network. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringements are intended._

_**About the story:** I had to write this. I think everyone was shocked with the turn of events in the last episode, and wrote something about how they felt. And well, this is my take on it and how I see Bonnie handling this whole thing._

_**A/N:** Hey guys! How have you been? I know I haven't really been around the fandom for a while now, but crap happened in my life (I'm still dealing with the repercussions) and my family always comes first. I'm still trying to come up with that Klonnie fic (no one interested in a Kennett fic instead) cause seriously JP kinda ruined (again) Bonnie's possible great storyline. Anyway, I haven't forgotten about you I promise. And this goes also to everyone who asked me to read their stories; I will get there, read and comment! And also to everyone who wrote me in pm or through emails... (I have over 30 messages to get back to)_

_Oh and hey, I may not be active these days when it comes to reading stuff and posting new stories (except for translated TVD fic), but I did something very good; I got Kol and Finn added to the characters list! :) Big thanks to on that one cause it was done in less than 48hours after I had sent my email!_

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><p><strong><span>Faith<span>**

I tried. I swear, I tried everything. But I just can't get over this for now. I know I will forgive her one day, how can I not, she's like… no she IS my sister; and family sticks together. But I can't, not now, not after this…

It's been a week, a whole week since Abby, my mom, became a Vampire.

I've been through a whole range of emotions over the week and right now, I'm only left with this; anger and disappointed. But not at them, no, at myself; because I believed… I dare believing that maybe… but no.

At first, I was just broken; shattered into millions of pieces. I simply couldn't look at her still body on the bed, waiting for her to wake up and make that god forsaken decision. She would have to deal with true death or eternal death. And I couldn't decide myself what I was hoping for her to choose. It was either losing her again or going through these emotions that I had gone through with Caroline. And I felt so responsible for her situation. If I hadn't sought her out; convince her to help me, to find her powers again; this wouldn't have happened in the first place… And she would still be living peacefully with Jamie in a townhouse far away from Mystic Fall. This was my fault. If I hadn't forced her to open that sealed coffin… that damn family.

She chose… eternal death…

Then, I was enraged at Klaus and his family. If he hadn't showed up, nothing of this would have happened. Klaus who had destroyed both Stefan and Tyler and for who Caroline was falling for. I know my friend; she's loyal, but she can't connect the dots sometimes. How can she really think a "maybe" when it comes to Klaus; he killed Jenna, Jules, so many of our school's friends, Elena and he's responsible for the death of so many others, including John and Isobel. What he made Tyler do; I'm so heartbroken for my friend who's in a position where he can't control himself. At the beginning, I was angry with Tyler, until I realized that this wasn't his fault, not at all; this was like compulsion, no, it was worse. And Caroline was slowly falling for the man who had destroyed Tyler. And then there was Rebekka who had tried to seduced Matt, and Elijah with Elena. This whole family who had tried to kill all of us was now pretending as if nothing had happened and dared to try and mingle with us, but except for Matt everyone was falling for their trap… And yet, that night hadn't been their fault, but for Esther, Finn and…

Elena… Because if it hadn't been for her moral code nothing of this would have happened. Of all the things Elena ever did; hanging out with an Original who was supposed to die that same day had been the most stupid and reckless thing she had ever done. I was so angry with her. That simple and stupid mistake was the reason why this whole town was still in danger, why this family was still running wild not only in our town, but probably across the world. But in was more than that…

Then I was filled with such disappointment towards the Salvatore brothers. I could understand their need to save Elena; it actually showed that they still have some humanity left in them, but the way they had handle the problem, made them worse than Klaus in my opinion. I knew deep down inside that they would have killed me to save Elena if needed and I would have died for her. But at the same time, Elena would have gladly died to save the town to get it rid of the Originals. I was hurt by what they had done and…

I wasn't surprised at all by this turn of event. I had to resign myself once again that no matter what, it would always be the same… The perfect plan set in motion to kill evil and then being screwed up by someone who couldn't back down.

But why was this affecting me so much? Abby had been back in my life for not even a month… but still, she was my mom; just like Caroline had been sad over her father's death after he had tortured her… This whole mess… it hurt… and…

No… I couldn't accept that… caring…

And that's when the table turned on me. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought that they were all fighting for the greater good? Because in the end, I realized that sometimes I was the only one fighting for this town and not just for my friends and family. And yet, I knew I would forgive them all in time and I couldn't bear it. I had to hold my ground and I knew that if I saw the sadness and pity in Elena's eyes, the sorrow in Stefan's and the proudness in Damon's (because turning my mom instead of killing her was probably in his opinion him being compassionate with us); I would break down and let it go. But I didn't want to.

And that's why I couldn't see Elena, why I had let Caroline tell whatever she had wanted to, to make Elena leave. Because Elena held a part of my heart, maybe even my soul that would always make me believe in better days; that would give me faith… But I wasn't strong enough anymore to have faith. So many times had I fell for it and had had my beliefs and heart shattered afterward… Because I had believed, people had died around me… I was weak, so, so weak… And it was only in those moments of weakness that Elena would smile at me and tell me that everything would be okay… and I would start to believe again that it was possible.

But no more…

I would protect those who really wanted to be protected. I would take care of those who cared. For now, I would stay focus on this simple mission; drive my mother back to her house with Caroline, where, with Jamie's help, we would do everything to help her go through this. Because if my mom had been selfless enough to become a Vampire to be with me, and try to rebuild our broken (or non-existent) relationship, then the least I could do was be there for her.

Then, I would do what I was born to do; be a servant of the nature and get this Earth rid of those forsaken creature that were these Originals no matter what. If I had to die to do it, then I would gladly sacrifice myself for the cause. And I won't care anymore about Elena's moral code or what the rest of the gang think of my actions. I will bring that family down.

And if I live to see the days after their falling, I will try to move on and live for myself and no one else.

And along the way, if I ever get strong enough, I will face Elena and believe again in a better future…

And again shall I have faith.

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Sorry for the depressing fic LOL Still, I hope you 'enjoyed' it and that it will help you to wait for my next story… But I was serious when I asked about Kennett instead of Klonnie… Like I can honestly say that you will get that promised fic faster if I write Kennett. Because right now, I'm so traumatized by what they did to Klaus that I'm having a hard time writing him. He used to be so sassy and they turned him into a love-sick puppy. (I'll stop myself, cause I could go on and on about what I think of S3 LOL) Anyway, this said, loved the fic? Hated it? Leave a comment if you feel like it! Kisses ~ Meye (I've missed you guys!)_


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